[MATURE] Shadow/Knuckles
Content Warnings: Emotional Distress
The wind sweeping across Angel Island was high and cold that day as always, clear as far as the eye could see.
The Master Emerald continued to bathe the island floating above the clouds in its pale light. At the heart of it all, Knuckles stood alone, his fists clenched.
He was afraid of the night.
For a guardian, those were surely words of weakness that should never be spoken aloud.
And yet—ever since he had been abducted by Regina’s drones, Knuckles’ nights had been hell.
He would lie down in bed and close his eyes.
The moment he did, the world would come crashing down.
Sonic was attacked.
Tails collapsed in tears.
Amy reached out, begging for help.
He couldn’t save anyone.
Couldn’t protect anyone.
Couldn’t reach them.
—Stop. Please. Don’t kill them. It’s my fault. I’ll do anything. Anything, just please.
He would wake up screaming and crying.
His chest burned painfully, his breathing ragged, his bedding damp with sweat.
But he couldn’t simply lie there and keep crying.
A guardian did not cry.
A guardian did not voice weakness.
A guardian did not rely on anyone.
A guardian must always be strong.
Because that was the burden he alone had to bear on this island.
Even if that burden crushed him as he was now.
The next afternoon, Sonic came to the island to hang out.
“Hey, Knuckles, you know that chili dog I bought the other day…? It was just bread with tomato sauce on it! What a rip-off!”
“Maybe check what you’re buying next time.”
“And then I bought a cola, and it turned out to be coffee! I spat it everywhere and even got it up my nose!”
“Good for you. Next time, just drink it through your nose.”
Knuckles tossed out halfhearted retorts as he clenched his fists.
No matter what happened, he couldn’t tell anyone about the nightmares.
Sonic rambled on for a while, and once he seemed satisfied, he got to his feet looking refreshed.
“I’ll come by again. Oh yeah, Amy said she wants to come eat some of the island’s fruit again sometime. It’s been a while.”
“No! Don’t come!”
The instant he heard Amy’s name, Knuckles’ expression changed and he shouted sharply.
Sonic turned around, startled.
“I mean… look, the wind’s strong up here, and… uh… it’ll mess up her skin, right? Amy’s an important girl, you know.”
Knuckles tried to brush it off.
Sonic frowned, but pretended not to notice anything and smiled before leaving the island.
…Nobody needs to come here. Not to an island like this.
For a moment, another face surfaced in his mind.
A black hedgehog whose expression was difficult to read, who nevertheless always remained calm and helped him from exactly the right distance.
When Knuckles had collapsed from his injuries after Regina tortured him, Shadow had stayed by his side throughout the night.
Shadow hadn’t returned to the island even once since then.
…He doesn’t need to come either. Don’t come. Even if he did…
That was what Knuckles told himself.
And yet, something buried deep within his chest trembled.
—Maybe I could let him see me being weak… just a little.
A bitter sensation rose in his throat.
In his mind, Knuckles drove a fist into himself for even thinking he could rely on someone like that.
What the hell is wrong with me? Don’t rely on anyone. You’re the guardian. Be strong. Don’t drag anyone else into this.
He told himself the words forcefully.
Still, a dull ache spread through his chest.
He was afraid of nightfall again.
Even when he tried to escape into sleep during the day, the nightmares followed him.
And without being able to tell anyone—
night came again.
Another night for the solitary guardian.
Shadow traveled all over the world, carrying out one mission after another.
Day after day, he mechanically completed assignments from the world government without complaint.
Whenever he stopped moving, his thoughts inevitably drifted back to the earnest, caring guardian of the Master Emerald.
Again and again, memories returned that seemed to seize him by the heart.
Knuckles desperately tending to him inside the island cabin after he was injured.
The awkward movements of Knuckles’ hand as he gently stroked Shadow’s numb one—and the melting sweetness of that touch.
Knuckles trembling weakly in his arms when he rescued him after the abduction.
Knuckles tucked beneath the blankets in the cabin, the warmth of his hand flowing into Shadow’s as he held it.
What was this feeling?
Friendship?
An attachment to the comfort Knuckles gave him?
Or was it simply sympathy?
Or was it something else entirely—something that seized his heart like a powerful force of gravity and refused to let go?
On a street corner, Shadow saw a couple walking arm in arm.
The man carried himself with confidence, while the woman looked completely content.
Shadow caught his breath and found himself staring intently at their profiles.
So… that is what a “relationship” looks like.
What could he give Knuckles?
For that matter, did Knuckles even want whatever it was Shadow might have to offer?
And even if he didn’t want it, would he accept it?
If… he found out how I feel…
An image flashed through Shadow’s mind: those clear violet eyes turning coldly away from him in discomfort.
Would I only be a burden to him after all?
The emotion lodged in his chest sank heavily, leaving him feeling unsteady on his feet.
Shadow closed his eyes and commanded himself over and over again.
Don’t think. Act. Work. Forget about him…
And yet he could not forget the sweetness that had passed through Knuckles’ hand when Knuckles stroked his on the island.
The ache in his heart only grew stronger with each passing day.
As Shadow was making his way back from another routine mission, Sonic suddenly appeared in front of him like a gust of wind.
“Yo, Shadow! So, the sausage in that chili dog I bought the other day—”
“Stop. I have no interest in hearing about it.”
Shadow frowned and clamped a hand over Sonic’s mouth.
Sonic forcibly pulled his hand away, his expression turning serious.
“Something’s wrong with Knuckles.”
Shadow’s heart leapt.
…Of all the names I’ve been desperately trying not to think about, how dare you toss his around so casually…
Shadow glared at Sonic with every ounce of resentment he could muster.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, but… he’s hiding something. Maybe he’s irritated, maybe he’s angry, maybe he’s worried about something… Shadow. Any idea what it could be? Last time Knuckles was in bad shape, you stayed by his side all night taking care of him, right?”
“Don’t ask me. Ask him directly. What are you afraid of? If necessary, I can ask him for you, since you’ve suddenly become so timid.”
Sonic had barged carelessly into the one place inside Shadow that he did not want anyone touching—anything concerning Knuckles.
Without thinking, Shadow lashed out and provoked him.
Sonic’s brows shot upward, and he rounded on Shadow.
“Hah. Fine, I’ll ask him myself. You’re so busy now, you probably don’t even care anymore, right? About Knuckles.”
Shadow glared at Sonic with such menace that he looked ready to tear him apart.
“You think I don’t care…?”
The words were impossible to ignore.
Something deep inside him burst into flame.
“I manage my work perfectly. I don’t get my priorities wrong and then use work as an excuse to abandon my friends. Maybe you’re the kind of person who makes sloppy mistakes like that!”
“What did you say?!”
Their anger at each other exploded.
Both of them knew perfectly well that if they kept going, this could only end in a fistfight.
Neither of them could stop.
Still furious, Shadow attempted to use Chaos Control to travel to the island.
Sonic lunged at him.
Grabbing each other by the front of their chests, they teleported into the sky above Angel Island—
and promptly dropped to the ground together with a thud.
“Ow! You could’ve at least landed us properly, you lousy klutz.”
“You’re the one who jumped on me.”
Still trading insults, the two got back to their feet and immediately took off toward the altar, racing each other the whole way.
As they neared it, they realized something was wrong.
Knuckles wasn’t there.
“Could he be making his rounds of the island?”
“Nah. He’s usually at the altar around this time…”
They raced all the way to the top and looked around.
Something red was just barely visible behind one of the pillars at the far end.
Sonic took off toward it, with Shadow following a little behind.
There, behind a stone pillar at the back of the altar, they found Knuckles asleep where he had collapsed.
He was crying, murmuring painfully in his sleep.
“Stop… Don’t kill everyone… I… don’t care what happens to me…”
The color drained from Sonic’s face.
Shadow felt as though he could hear his own heart tearing apart.
It was still going on.
Regina’s hell.
The terror of that day.
Without thinking, Shadow reached out.
But—
Sonic caught his hand and stopped him.
“Wait, Shadow. Right now… don’t just touch him.”
Still gripping Shadow’s arm, Sonic led him all the way to the opposite side of the island.
Shadow twisted free of Sonic’s grasp and glared at him, his voice as sharp as his expression.
“If I could just hold him… imagine how much that could help him.”
“That’s not it, Shadow!”
Sonic continued in a low voice.
“Knuckles wants to be strong. He doesn’t want us seeing him when he’s weak. He’s proud. The last thing he wants is us fussing over him like, ‘Aw, poor Knuckles, you’re having such a hard time.’”
Shadow stood frozen, feeling as though his chest were being torn open.
My feelings can’t help him…?
Shadow clenched his fists and rounded on Sonic.
“You’re a coward!”
“No! You’re the one being insensitive!”
They hurled insults at each other until, at last, the two of them started throwing punches.
It was a stupid, brute-force brawl.
Fist against fist. Forehead against forehead.
They kicked up sand and shoved each other back and forth.
And then—
Sonic suddenly stopped moving.
“…I hear something!”
Shadow listened too.
Gunfire.
The clang of metal.
Something exploding.
“The altar!!”
Both of them sprang into motion at once, racing back toward the altar.
Destroyed drones were scattered all across the ground in front of the altar.
Knuckles stood in the middle of them, catching his breath as he cracked his knuckles.
“Oh, you were here, Sonic.”
Then he spotted Shadow.
His eyes widened for just a moment, and a faint smile crossed his face.
“You came too, huh.”
As Knuckles began clearing away the wreckage, he spoke.
“Hey, these drones… they’re Regina’s, right?”
“After we rescued you, the agents shared the information we had gathered. Military forces intervened in the fortress city, and Regina was arrested by the world government. However, it seems the resulting disruption to the system left some units scattered around, still carrying out their old orders.”
Shadow helped him as he gave the report, then added with a somber expression,
“Knuckles, I should have informed you about this as well. The fact that today’s attack put you in danger is entirely my fault…”
Knuckles cut in before he could continue.
“An attack like this is nothing. Hell, it was boring enough to make me yawn.”
Sonic stepped forward, his voice bright.
“Hey, glad you’re okay, best friend. Man, I’m dying of thirst. Shadow and I were just fighting a duel to the death, y’know.”
“You two were having another stupid fight, weren’t you? Come on. I’ll get you some fruit juice.”
Knuckles replied with an exasperated look, then leapt down from the altar in a single bound and started toward the cabin.
Sonic gave Shadow a light shove in the back and followed Knuckles.
Shadow frowned, but followed the two of them anyway.
The heavy feeling that had been lodged deep in his chest had eased, if only a little.
Once they reached the cabin, Knuckles squeezed fresh-picked fruit into juice and served it to the two of them.
“So the other day, I watched every episode of this cartoon about a dog with this really filthy laugh on Tails’ device, and afterward his entire history was just page after page of that filthy dog’s gums. Tails got so mad at me…”
Sonic drank his juice and, as usual, kept the room alive with an endless stream of ridiculous stories.
Shadow sat quietly and took a sip of his juice.
Knuckles gently placed a small plate in front of Shadow with bread he had baked using fruit kneaded into the dough.
Without a word, Shadow picked up the bread and quietly ate it.
Knuckles skillfully sliced some fruit with a knife and gently added it to Shadow’s plate.
Shadow silently munched on that too.
Pretending not to notice the curious distance between the two of them, Sonic simply kept talking, maintaining the lively atmosphere in the cabin.
By the time night fell, Knuckles had baked more bread and made soup, serving it all for dinner.
“There was this drunk guy in town picking a fight, right? So I ran over to tell him to knock it off, and that’s when I noticed what he was holding. Wanna guess? A ten-scoop ice cream cone. Every single scoop was strawberry. Crazy, right? Anyway, the whole thing started tipping over, so out of the goodness of my heart, I caught the falling ice cream with my mouth. Didn’t even get a thank-you, obviously. Ice cream was really good, though.”
Sonic kept rattling on with one ridiculous story after another.
Knuckles gave the occasional halfhearted response or wisecrack, until suddenly he turned to Sonic.
“Sonic. You know…”
“Hmm?”
“No… Never mind.”
He swallowed whatever he had been about to say and tossed another piece of bread onto Sonic’s plate instead.
Knuckles was grateful for Sonic’s noisiness.
Sonic talked.
Shadow stayed quietly by his side.
Knuckles found the combination deeply comforting.
How long has it been since I enjoyed a night this much?
By the time the night had grown deep and even the moon was no longer visible, Sonic finally stopped rambling.
“Man, I talked my head off. Feel way better now. All right, guess it’s about time we hit the hay.”
Knuckles’ back stiffened.
He was afraid of the night.
But—
he didn’t want Sonic or Shadow to realize that.
“I-I’m gonna go check on the Master Emerald.”
Knuckles spoke while trying to hide the tremor in his voice.
Sonic grinned.
“Don’t take too long. Let’s all crash together.”
As soon as Knuckles stepped outside the cabin, he heard Shadow’s footsteps following close behind.
“…Shadow?”
Unease stirred in Knuckles’ heart.
It had been a long time since the two of them had been alone together.
Bathed in the light of the Master Emerald, they silently made one circuit around the altar.
The wind blew softly.
Behind him, Shadow spoke.
“How have you been?”
“What d’you mean?”
“This is the first time I’ve seen you since then. …The truth is, I wanted to come here again.”
Knuckles was caught off guard.
Back then—
after Knuckles had been rescued from Regina and spent the night sleeping in the cabin bed under Shadow’s watch, Shadow had stayed beside him the entire time.
Now, seeing Shadow again after so long, Knuckles heard the same gentle voice speaking to him as he had that night.
“Th-there’s… nothing here even if you do come. It’s just this island.”
“You’re here.”
The quiet, immediate reply left Knuckles with no words.
Something inside his chest tickled.
Shadow was looking straight at him.
Unsure where to put his gaze, Knuckles instinctively turned his back on Shadow and looked toward the Master Emerald.
“I’ve been… doing okay, I guess. …Just… kinda tired.”
Shadow stepped up beside Knuckles.
“Let’s rest tonight. Sonic and I are tired too. The three of us can… have some ridiculous dreams together.”
“Ridiculous dreams…?”
“About that filthy dog’s gums and a drunk carrying strawberry ice cream.”
“Give me a break.”
Knuckles couldn’t help laughing as he gave Shadow a light nudge with his elbow.
Shadow gave a soft laugh in return.
Without saying much of anything else, the two made their way back toward the cabin beneath the sparsely twinkling stars.
When they returned to the cabin, Sonic had already spread a sheet out on the floor and was lying on it, arms folded behind his head as he yawned.
Shadow spread another sheet out right beside the bed, then lay down and spoke to Knuckles.
“You should sleep in the bed.”
“Won’t you two be uncomfortable down there?”
Sonic rolled over.
“Eh, it’s about as comfy as sleeping on the stone steps of the altar. Should make for some pretty good dreams.”
As Knuckles climbed into bed, he shot back,
“Dreaming about that dog with the filthy laugh?”
“I’ll do the exact same laugh in your dream. Just make sure you invite me in.”
“Fine, I’ll wait for you. I’ll be eating a ten-scoop strawberry ice cream while I do.”
“Invite me too.”
Shadow cut in, and Sonic gave him a poke.
“Shadow, you gotta do the same laugh too.”
“I’ll eat strawberry ice cream with Knuckles. You can get scolded by Tails all over again in your dream.”
The soft glow of the lamp flickered faintly against the wall.
Before long, someone’s quiet breathing filled the room, and Knuckles lay listening to it.
Somehow, Knuckles had a feeling that both of them had already noticed something was wrong with him.
Neither Sonic nor Shadow said anything unnecessary.
They were simply there.
Sleeping together like this in the cramped little cabin.
That kind of relationship was exactly what Knuckles needed right now.
“Knuckles.”
A tiny voice reached his ears, almost like someone talking in their sleep.
“…I’ll come back. To this island. To see how you’re doing.”
Half asleep, Knuckles listened to the voice.
If you want to come, then come.
And with that thought, Knuckles remembered.
That’s right. No matter what happens, no matter who comes here, all I have to do is accept them.
“Come whenever you want…”
Knuckles mumbled sleepily and drifted off.
“Good night, Knuckles.”
Peaceful breathing spread through the cabin into the island night.
Knuckles dreamed of the Master Emerald.
Its warm light gently enveloped him.
When he looked around, he found himself standing before the familiar altar.
Someone had come to visit.
Just as always, Knuckles stood proudly before the Emerald, arms folded, welcoming them.
I’m all right now. This is who I always am…
And this time, Knuckles finally fell into a deep sleep.